Empathy is that secret ingredient which helps people to feel cared for and important. It gives people a sense that what they feel and who they are is valued, and it gives them more a sense of safety to really express themselves and their full potential to make a difference.
How can you create such a positive environment with your team?
Start with the simple practice of empathy.
How well are you able to listen to others so they feel really heard and acknowledged with empathy?
By empathy, I mean feeling with another person and attempting to step into their shoes to experience life from their perspective. Empathy is a primary capacity which connects you to others, and the inability to feel empathy is a major obstacle which keeps you more distant and disconnected.
Here's a simple 'empathy-building' exercise which I first learned from a practitioner of Avatar, an international personal development program. I recommend you begin practicing this in small ways and notice how your ability to connect with others improves. You’ll find yourself more deeply respecting your team at work as well as your personal relationships outside of work.
You can practice this exercise silently, anywhere you're in a public place...perhaps a restaurant, shopping centre, train station, or business meeting.
First of all, focus on someone who you may find difficult relating to. It doesn't have to be someone you know well - anyone who you might have even a slightly negative reaction to will do. Now, hold an image of this person in your mind or look at them discreetly as you say the following four statements to yourself:
1. Just like me, this person is wanting to find happiness.
2. Just like me, this person is wanting to avoid suffering.
3. Just like me, this person is seeking to fulfill his/her needs.
Just like me, this person is learning about life.
What you'll notice after practicing this for a few minutes, you'll begin to feel empathy for this person, and your normal reaction which might be negative will soften. We humans are naturally empathetic beings, and yet sometimes our empathy has been schooled out of us with an overemphasis on appearance,appropriateness, and self-reliance.
Imagine if you could begin to set the tone of empathy, allowing others to feel your caring, resulting in a greater willingness to be open and direct, increasing trust and emotional safety which are so critical to true creativity and energised, productive, and enjoyable work. Why not begin creating such an environment starting with the simple yet powerful practice of empathy?
Sally Mabelle c. 2010 - if you want to publish or print this article, please contact Sally for permission and include the following acknowledgement and link to my website:
by Sally Mabelle, The Voice of Leadership Specialist:inspiring clear, confident, and connected communication. www.sallymabelle.com
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