It's expected in all my classes that students will report feeling more confidence in expressing their authentic selves, but one student mustered up a particularly noteable degree of courage. I interviewed the new 'Sarah LaMont' just a couple weeks ago, and here is her story.
Born in the early 40's, Bob Stanton (little 'Bobbie') grew up in Christchurch and described himself as a very lonely boy with few friends or social skills. Bob first noticed he had an interest in crossdressing when he was seven years old, although he didn't discover the term until he was in his mid-teens.
His first memory of this yearning was wanting to wear white ankle socks just like the girls at his primary school.
Stealing female clothes from clotheslines happened more often than Bob cares to remember and he often wore panties under his shorts which made him feel much happier.
It wasn't until he was 17 that his mother discovered his female clothing in a suitcase in his closet and wanted him to go see a doctor to 'fix the problem'. Bob told her it would never happen again, and fortunately, his mother didn’t push the issue. In those days,
shock treatment was a common treatment for people who demonstrated a propensity to wear clothes of the opposite sex.
Bob tried to suppress his desire to crossdress, but it continued to be a hidden compulsion all the way through his twenties and thirties and into his marriage. In the end, his wife left him because of his 'problem'.
When Bob signed up for my singing class, he hoped to learn some techniques that would assist him to be a more relaxed and more competent singer.
After the first night when the ice was broken Bob/aka Sarah felt better able to express herself in a more relaxed and effective manner. Her demeanour became more positive and focussed and she was inspired to raise her performance to a higher level. Sarah "came out" and so did the latent singing skills that were always there but had struggled to materialize until then.
"Attending singing classes was ground breaking for me." says Sarah. I found it so enjoyable that I really looked forward to each Wed night. Sally inspired my self-confidence and self-belief so much that on the third night of our seven night program I approached Sally before the lesson and told her I was 'transgendering' from male to female and asked her if I could attend the final night as a female. Sally responded by inviting me to attend all of the remaining nights of the class series as Sarah.
Driving home that night I had tears in my eyes, Sally and the other singers were so supportive and encouraging and I could not wait till the next Wednesday.
"Coming out" within the class was a major achievement as Sarah and I benefited immensely as a result. Now, I am fully living as my 'new' self and no longer go by 'Bob' or dress as a man. Although my own family disowned me at first, several of them have begun to open up to me and accept me as I am. I am so much happier now that
I can live openly as Sarah and express my authentic voice all the time."
Sarah's new enthusiasm and energy are so apparent. She says she's decided that her 'new' age is 54 although, biologically, 'Bob' is 68!
Sarah loves singing and performing and bought a great Karaoke system which she
Practices with often.
It is so rewarding to see a student begin to blossom and open up in their self-expression.
Although other students do not outwardly transform as radically as 'Bob' did,
there is still a wonderful freedom and energy that comes from daring to express your authentic voice in every case.
Here's to more authentic self-expression for all of us – and to all of us creating more freedom and safety for everyone to be themselves always.
Opportunities to practice voicing yourself are coming up beginning this Wednesday:
6th May: Speaking with Confidence and Authenticity
Learn tools to clearly and expressively communicate your authentic self. Speak with authority and confidence Expand your presence and poise in the midst of stress. Make a difference as you fully share your passion with the world. Learn specific exercises for projection and articulation so you can be clearly heard.
What the program includes
Learn specific exercises for projection and articulation so you can be clearly heard. Overcome barriers to expressing your authentic self. leaders, entrepreneurs, solo practitioners, counselors, managers, and anyone who wants to speak and relate with more presence, confidence, humour, and authentic connection for personal and business success.
This is suitable for
leaders, entrepreneurs, solo practitioners, counselors, managers, and anyone who wants to speak and relate with more presence, confidence, humour, and authentic connection for personal and business success.
16-17 May - Call Out Your Inner Writer: thoughts that roar, words that singAccess your creative juices and open up to writing with power, delight and meaning,Parnell Community Centre. For info, see http://www.lindseydawson.com/events-seminars.htm
20 May: The Three R's of Singing
This program focuses on techniques to allow you to fully open up and free your voice and to assist others in doing the same.
Learn and master specific techniques to bring out your full natural voice singing potential and replace any inhibitions around singing with a sense of fun and joy.
Develop a confident self-expression and authentic singing voice.
7:30-9:30pm, South Pacific College of Natural Therapies, 8 Arthur St, Ellerslie, email sally@sallymabelle.com or call
525 4008 to register.
Investment: $40
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